


Incest or narcissism?

by CarlaGallagher



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Existentialism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:24:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarlaGallagher/pseuds/CarlaGallagher
Summary: Chanwoo thinks he only has an existencial question, but it might be a little big bigger than that. (existencial smut ensues)





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, hi guys! I'm back... as I said before, my mother language is not english, so I hope there aren't many mistakes.  
> There's a reference to a movie in the fic, the movie is called Tunnel (2016), it's a korean movie, you should watch is, it's awesome. 
> 
> Hope you guys like the fic and I love feedback, so if you have a few minutes, leave a comment ;)

The dorm is silent, except for the pots and pans clanging. Yunhyeong mumbles a song and dances around the kitchen while he cooks. It’s strange cooking for two instead of seven, but it seems that with their comeback looming over their heads, they just can’t find the time to be all together. But still, the few left have to eat, so here is Song Chef making sure there’s food on the table.

Once everything’s set up, he dries his hands with a dish towel and goes to find the only other member in the house. He knocks on the door but gets no response. After a few seconds, he opens it to find a rare but cute scene: Chanwoo’s asleep on top of the covers with his phone on his chest. He looks so peaceful Yunhyeong almost doesn’t want to wake him, but the kid has to eat.

-Hey – the older calls him softly, but Chanwoo’s a heavy sleeper, so Yunhyeong gets closer and taps his cheek. –Heey, pabo

The younger does wake up at this and, even though he was just sleeping, his eyes look really big. Especially up close. He looks confused too, which makes the scene all the more endearing.

-Hyung? – he asks, all raspy voice, and squints.

-You fell asleep – Yunhyeong informs him, smiling warmly. –I made us some food. You should eat, then maybe we could watch a movie and then I’ll let you go back to sleep. What do you think?

Chanwoo nods, smiling his dimpled smile and they both head to the living room.

*

They eat in silence, occasionally making an approving sound when something tastes really good. Chanwoo’s a little too mute for Yunhyeong’s liking and he starts getting worried. He can’t help it, he’d be Ikon’s official worrier if Jinhwan hadn’t stolen the title, but still… they’re all busy and they’re a team, but each of them face their own demons and can’t always help one another with their troubles, even if they want to. Chanwoo isn’t big on talking about himself, good or bad, so Yunhyeong tries to give support in quiet ways: a little more food on the other’s plate, a pat on the back in practice, keeping close at the airport and fan meetings and concerts… and practically everywhere, now that he thinks about it. 

But now that it’s the two of them, maybe he can just ask Chanwoo what’s going on in that head of his, so he takes the plunge. 

-Everything okay, Chanu-ya?

The other makes a sound, coming out of his reverie. He swallows before speaking. At least the kid has manners. 

-What, Hyung? Sorry.

-Is something wrong? You’re really quiet.

-Ah – Chanwoo replies humming. He seems to be mulling over his words, so Yunhyeong gives him time, but every second that goes by fills him more and more with dread. –Say, Hyung –the younger finally continues –If you kissed me, would it be incest or narcissism?

The older chokes on a grain of rice and starts coughing violently. Chanwoo passes him his glass of water but Yunhyeong catches the evil smirk in the other’s face. 

-Very funny- he rasps and his voice sounds almost like Bobby’s.

-No, I’m serious, Hyung. Like, really… you’ve never thought about it? 

The scandalized look on Yunhyeongs face pretty much answers his question. –Of course not! Why would I think about such things!? – the younger is about to interrupt him, but he doesn’t let him. –First of all, we’re NOT twins, so it CAN’T be incest and second WHY would I kiss you?

Chanwoo looks at him with his big eyes, he assesses him, measures him. –So, narcissism then?

-No, what… Chanu-ya… I’m… no – he sputters

-No?

-No

Everything is silent again. Yunhyeong looks at his food. Chanwoo looks at Yunhyeong.

-We should try – the younger says all of a sudden and the older can hear excitement in his voice, which makes him drop his chopsticks and raise his eyes.

-Oh my god! What’s gotten into you?

-Hyung! I just wanna know. It’s like… for scientific purposes?

Yunhyeong rolls his eyes. –You’re spending way too much time with Ju-ne. When will you realize he’s actually terrible at any social interaction?

-No, no. He said it was a good idea, that I should totally run it by you.

The older gawks at Chanwoo. –YOU DISCUSSED THIS WITH JU-NE? CHANU-YA WHAT THE HELL?

-Hyung –the younger says calmly- you’re overreacting. Please, sit down. –Yunhyeong didn’t even realize he’d gotten up. He sits down slowly. –It’s really no big deal. We don’t have to do it. I just thought it’d be interesting.

Yunhyeong is amazed at how calm and collected Chanwoo looks. Maybe he is overreacting, but the other is also a very good actor. He could be dying of embarrassment and the older would never find out. –Do you… -he starts. But he shouldn’t be curious about this, he shouldn’t ask questions. 

-Do I what?

-Do you wanna… erm… kiss the other members?

Chanwoo gags at that and Yunhyeong catches sight of half chewed food in his mouth.

-Ew, Hyung, gross! No! Just imagining… no… no no no.

-Then why me?

-Because you’re you?

-Are you asking me?

-No, Hyung, I mean… I’m me, you’re you… it makes sense.

-Actually, I don’t think I follow.

-Ju-ne gets it.

Yunhyeong scoffs at that and his mouth becomes a thin line. He glares at Chanwoo, expecting to exercise some kind of elder power over him, just to shut him up. And he’s sure now, this has to be Ju-ne’s doing. 

-Tell you what –the older starts after taking a deep breath – why don’t you pick a movie while I wash the dishes?

Chanwoo smiles at him like they didn’t just have this whole kissing conversation and gets up to retrieve their movie collection. 

*

When Yunhyeong goes back to the living room, Chanwoo’s already sitting on the sofa with a movie on pause. 

-What are we watching? –the older asks, sitting as far away as possible from the other without appearing rude. 

-It’s about a guy that gets stuck in a tunnel 

Yunhyeong nods, at least Chanwoo likes the same movies as him. If it were Ju-ne or Jinan it’d be a freaking romantic movie for sure, Bobby and Hanbin always watch exceptionally stupid comedies that only make them laugh and Donghyuk… always with the dying dogs and terminal illnesses. He loves the guy, but how much can one cry in just one night? 

The movie starts and it’s pretty interesting, but Yunhyeong can’t focus. He’s hyper aware of Chanwoo, of his breathing, the distance between them, the little exclamations the other makes when something bad happens. The older is in such a trance that he doesn’t realize he’s not even watching the movie anymore. His eyes are trained on the other, fixated. Chanwoo suddenly looks at him and frowns.

-Hyung?

Yunhyeong lets his eyes travel through the other’s features. Those that are often compared to his own. His big eyes, his chubby cheeks, his small mouth, that dimple… 

-I can’t stop thinking about it – he mumbles. 

Chanwoo only nods and gets closer to him on the sofa. 

-Maybe if we do it, you’ll stop – and he doesn’t know why he’s whispering, but this feels kind of ominous. 

Chanwoo’s towering over him and he feels so small. He forgets everything about age and honorifics. It’s probably the strangest situation he’s ever been in. Yunhyeong isn’t a coward though, he’s already in, he has to do this. He puts his left hand on Chanwoo’s cheek and caresses it. Maybe it’s too delicate, but he’s only ever kissed girls, he doesn’t know any other way. The younger doesn’t complain, though, he’s still kneeling on the sofa waiting for Yunhyeong to kiss him. Maybe he’s right, maybe they’ll kiss once and realize it’s disgusting and then they’ll laugh about it and tell the rest of the guys, and Bobby and Hanbin will reenact the scene every single day… okay… maybe not tell the guys, but he’s happy if he just stops thinking about it. He takes a deep breath.

-I’m gonna kiss you now – he says, all serious, and wants to kick himself in the face. What a stupid thing to say. 

When his lips touch Chanwoo’s, he relaxes a bit. It doesn’t feel weird, it’s nothing too extravagant. Yunhyeong deepens the kiss slightly and the younger tastes like the food they just ate… and it’s not disgusting. Suddenly his unoccupied hand is on Chanwoo’s waist and he’s being lowered on the sofa. He bites the younger’s bottom lip and gets a harsh breath in response. A few seconds later, there’s tongues involved and Yunhyeong forgets he actually needs oxygen to survive. 

He comes to when there’s a big explosion in the movie and Chanwoo is on top of him, looking like a deer in the headlights. His enormous eyes are freaking sparkling and his mouth is red and glistening. Yunhyeong is about to make a joke, but Chanwoo suddenly sits down away from him, frowning. The older thinks he might have actually broken him. Didn’t Chanwoo say it wasn’t a big deal? Except the kid really hated it? Yunhyeong thinks it was pretty good… actually great. 

-Chanu-ya – he calls, but he doesn’t really know what to say. The other doesn’t look at him. The older wants to say some comforting words but stops himself when Chanwoo jumps in his place at the sound of the front door opening. In a matter of seconds, Yunhyeong has Bobby on top of him talking non-stop, asking what are they watching and trying to smother Chanwoo with a hug. 

So, not incest and not narcissism… but it just might me a big problem now.


	2. 2

Yunhyeong serves breakfast the next morning and waits for everybody to join him. It’s somewhat silent, at least for seven boys. Yunhyeong can’t tell if Bobby’s eyes are open or not and his face is dangerously close to his plate of porridge. Hanbin’s head is resting on Jinhwan’s shoulder and he’s not even eating. Donghyuk is reading the newspaper (yes, he is), while Junhoe is staring alternatively between Chanwoo and Yunhyeong. He’s not even trying to hide it, god knows Junhoe isn’t the stealthiest guy. The older makes eye contact with him and coughs, Junhoe raises an eyebrow, but actually relents and resumes eating. Chanwoo never looks up from his food.

*

They have practice at 9AM and Yunhyeong is, for once, happy because it’ll maybe take his mind off of things. They all pile up in the van, still sleepy, and head to the practice room. 

*

Two hours later, Hanbin’s not only wide awake, but also livid. Yunhyeong hasn’t even gotten 20% right of any of the choreos they’ve been practicing. He’s frustrated and on the verge of tears, cause Hanbin never lashes out at him, but probably because he never messes up so much. Just as he’s about to start sniffling, the strangest thing happens: Junhoe intercedes. It’s usually Bobby or Jinhwan the one who tries to calm Hanbin down, maybe sometimes even Yunhyeong himself if the other two are also riled up. Hanbin looks at Junhoe funny, but actually (and weirdly) deflates. He gives them a ten minute break and leaves the room immediately.   
Yunhyeong bows to Junhoe and the later bows back.

*

Three hours later and Yunhyeong is ready to pass out. At least he didn’t make any more (obvious) mistakes and he could relax a little bit. Hanbin dismisses them, but Yunhyeong, even exhausted, doesn’t want to leave yet. He asks for permission from the leader to stay a couple of hours to practice some more. Hanbin, albeit reluctantly, agrees. One by one the members start leaving the practice room, till only two remain.   
Chanwoo watches Yunhyeong through the reflection of the mirror wall. They both look nervous, troubled, on the verge of something dangerous. Chanwoo walks to the door and the older wants to stop him, but he can’t move. It doesn’t matter, cause the younger only locks it and resumes his previous position.

-I can’t stop thinking about it

Yunhyeong feels a powerful sense of déjà vu, but it’s not his voice this time. It’s Chanwoo’s reflection and he’s getting closer until his front connects with the elders back. And now that he feels him, he seems more real. Chanwoo embraces him and their eyes connect in the mirror.

-Look at you –he whispers- Look at us

Yunhyeong feels the lump in his throat. He doesn’t know if he wants to cry or scream. He wants release. 

The younger places his forehead on the elder’s temple, his mouth right on the other’s ear. –I wanna touch you, Hyung- and he sounds confident, but he’s shaking.

Yunhyeong doesn’t move. He’s trapped but he doesn’t want to escape. He shivers, though, when Chanwoo’s hand plays with the hem of his practice pants. The younger’s long fingers skim over his clothed cock and he instinctively closes his eyes from pleasure. 

-No… Don’t… close your eyes, Hyung, please – Yunhyeong is not that far gone to hear that Chanwoo is downright pleading. So, he opens his eyes. The maknae’s hand travels down his boxers and closes in on his cock. Since he can’t (won’t) close his eyes, he resorts to moaning. Chanwoo starts masturbating him in earnest at that, and Yunhyeong can’t stop watching. Chanwoo’s hand down his pants, his big doe eyes, Yunhyeong’s mouth slightly open, grunting and trying to get some air at the same time. He feels a bit lightheaded. 

-I need… -he breathes. Chanwoo understands. He pushes him towards the mirror and takes Yunhyeong’s left hand in his, using both to lean on the mirror. His right hand continues pleasuring the older, teasing the head of his cock, moaning with him when he knows the flick of his wrist feels too good. 

And then Yunhyeong really looks at Chanwoo, through the mirror. Beneath all the confidence, there’s still a young boy fighting to understand what’s going on and now he sees it clearly, what Chanwoo’s eyes are screaming. So Yunhyeong takes over. He flips in the other’s embrace and ends up with his back pressed against the mirror. He grabs the younger’s nape gently with his unoccupied hand and gives him a butterfly kiss. Chanwoo looks relieved, like he’s been waiting for the other to take over since they started this… thing. Yunhyeong stares at him fondly and he’d say something sappy if the maknae’s hand wasn’t still firmly wrapped around his cock. Instead, the pleasure makes him bold.

-What do you want, Chanu-ya’ –the younger doesn’t answer, so Yunhyeong places his hand on his crotch. –Do you want me to touch you?- Chanwoo nods and the older thinks he might have to teach him to speak up for himself. He lowers Chanwoo’s pants and boxers, and the boy is already rock hard. Yunhyeong teases him, stroking slowly, pushing all the buttons in the other’s feverish mind. –What do you want, baby? –and Chanwoo keens. Be it the pressure on his cock or the petname, he suddenly becomes vocal. 

-I… I want you inside me, Hyung… I want to be inside you, I want everything… I…

-You what?

-I want to be one with you – he whispers and hides his face in Yunhyeongs shoulder, bashful. The older almost can’t resist the cuteness, but he bites his lip and continues stroking the boy.

-I’m close, baby- Yunhyeong says, strained, trying to make it last. Chanwoo moans low, right next to his ear, sending shivers down his spine and straight to his cock.

-Me too, Hyung. I wanna come with you

They both speed up their hands at the same time and Chanwoo comes first, shuddering and making an almost surprised noise. Yunhyeong follows him close, hitting his head against the mirror and trying to regain his breath. After a few seconds, he realizes the younger is still hiding in his shoulder, so he forces Chanwoo to look at him.

-That was amazing –he says and laughs out of pure bliss- You were amazing

Chanwoo blushes and gives one of his dimpled smiles –Hyung…

-I want everything too, okay? – The younger’s eyes open almost comically. –I know you were going to tell me it was a spur of the moment thing and that you said it cause my hand was on your cock. But I know it’s not true. So I want you to tell me everything, Chanu-ya. We’ll make it happen. Just speak up.

Chanwoo’s eyes are getting misty and Yunhyeong is not used to seeing him cry. But the boy composes himself quickly and hugs his hyung tightly. 

-Chanu, there’s one more thing…

-Yes, Hyung, anything –the younger answers reverently.

-Even though it worked, I still think Ju-ne’s style is shit

Chanwoo’s bark of laughter echoes in the practice room and he covers his mouth, his eyes full of mirth. –We should head back. We could get him ice cream for all his help

-I ain’t buying him anything. He’s got Jinan for that

Yunhyeong kissed Chanwoo one last time before gathering his things and walking towards the door.

-Are you coming?

-Again? Hyung, you’re insatiable! 

-Aish!

So, it’s neither incest, nor narcissism. And it’s not a problem anymore.


End file.
